Moving sucks

I am moving from Arizona to Virginia. By choice.

A great opportunity came up at work - and we took it. The hubby is already out there, started a new job weeks ago. I miss him terribly. He misses me. We're miserable but dealing.

It's the moving that is killing me.

Sure, work is paying for the move. That's a huge help. And sure, they are helping coordinate activities. A huge help.

Only who is coordinating the coordinators? Me. Who is working with the local realtor, taking care of the house, the dogs, the bills, the daily grind? Me. Why? Because I sent the hubby on ahead to start working at a new job, so we could get approved for a loan so we could afford a house, yadda, yadda, yadda. We agreed. It was the right division of labor and such. It just sucks.

It's like a full-time job. Oh but wait, I have a full-time job. And it's insane right now, because, guess what, brand new role and some responsibilities and no one knows what work I should stop so really I do all my old stuff and all my new stuff. And we're in the middle of this insane project right now and everyone thinks I am the go-to-girl even when I have nothing to do with that part of the project. So I shuttle people to the right resource. And the next time? They come to me even when they know who to go to because somehow I am more helpful than the right person and if I intercede the right person will somehow magically do the work better, faster, nicer? Who knows.

But the moving. We got lucky on the sales end, because we got an offer in a week. The buying end has really sucked. Our realtor is great - but the market there sucks (2+ times as expensive as what we currently have) - so finding a house we could afford was a real chore. And then, there was the financing.

Every bank promised to make it easy. Screw you, B of A and Wells Fargo. Whatever you people think easy may be, you are totally delusional. The sellers wanted a letter as proof of financing. Wells Fargo said, "Yes, you are approved, but we don't fax letters - we mail them. And we mailed yours." Okay, but you mailed it to Tucson, and I am in Dulles, VA and I need the letter to make the offer here. Can you mail another letter here? No? Because? Because you mailed it to Tucson. Thank you. That was very easy. Now I can't make an offer.

And B of A? You don't do bridge loans. Okay. You do home equity loans...that act like a bridge loan. Okay. I just need to take my house off the market to do this. I'm sorry? Take my house off the market? When I am trying to sell it? Yes. Just until we assess the property. Sigh.

Thank goodness our realtor has a contact at Fidelity. He's great. We got the financing. We got the approval within minutes. We got the fax. We made the offer. They accepted the offer. Fantastic.

Now it's the home-inspection back-and-forth at the house we are selling and the house we are buying. Again, the selling end was easy. The buying end is still under review. The house is great. I don't think we are asking for much. By much I mean we didn't ask for everything. We asked for the things the inspector considered hazardous. Of course, these reports read like the house is going to fall down on your head the minute you walk in - so you really have to read them, look at the picts, and see what it really means. Of course, the hubby shadowed the inspector and asked lots of questions. It makes all the difference in choosing which things to ask for.

Hubby flies back on the 21st. The movers come on the 24th. We sign the local title papers on the 25th and hit the road. Me, hubby, 3 dogs, 1 camry, luggage, dog food, etc. from AZ to VA.

We close May 5th. The movers come May 8th.

I've still got to take care of the utilities on that end. Or Scott will. Who is doing what? Right - Scott handles VA, I handle AZ. I am closing out the old. He is starting up the new.

Every day someone reminds me of the negative... you need to find new doctors, dentists, vets, grocery stores, etc. ad nauseum. Yes. These things must be done. When I get there. Those are future tasks. Important tasks. I'm not doing them yet.

I'm saying goodbye to friends and family. I am spending every minute with someone I love, saying goodbye, making a last memory because, honestly, how many times will I make it back to a place I've lived in for 10 years? I didn't grow up here. My mom is here. Seeing her will bring me back. But how often? For how long? Will anyone even have time for me when I have time for them? And how many of them will come to visit? I know of 1 (besides mom) - because her daughter is moving about 30 min from me the same week we are driving out. I will see Sally and Jerry. That is important to me. Will the rest visit? Nah. They have younger kids, obligations, lack of finances, etc. They have their lives. I have mine. Our lives intersected for a number of years. It was a lovely intersection. It will dwindle to emails and chat.

I will make new friends. Important to do. I'm not doing that yet. I'm not there yet. I'm in limbo between wrapping things up and starting anew. What will I do there? Will I take up new hobbies to get to know the area and meet people? Will I just stay home with Scott and the dogs? Will I engage my worst workaholic traits? Will I get in shape? Will I eat right? Will I floss? Sure, anything is possible in a new place.

I'm just not there yet.