Winner for Worst Mother of the Year

This week I had to travel on a small plane from DC to Cleveland. To give you an idea of the size of this plane… it was 1 seat on the left and 2 seats on the right, for probably 20 rows. It was not a big plane. It was so small that we had to go outside and enter the plane via a ladder on the tarmac. It was maybe 40 degrees when we left DC. It was snowing when we deplaned in Cleveland.

My nominee for worst mother of the year got on with her 3 tweener kids – all with skateboards – none with jackets. The one in the lead was throwing up into a barf-bag. They sent him to the back of the plane (somewhere far enough behind me that I eventually, gratefully, stopped hearing the noises) and then mom and the other kids spread out. As in, they left his poor sick miserable ass alone in the back and sat elsewhere.

Most of the hour plus ride was in horrible turbulence. It was so bad I couldn’t read and I couldn’t put my head on the headrest or against the window. As my own stomach expressed its displeasure, I thought of that poor kid and what he must be going through.

When we deplaned in Cleveland, I was behind the unit as we worked our way down the ladder, into the airport, and through the airport to ground transportation. The mother squawked at her brood that she told them they needed their jackets – they shouldn’t have packed their jackets – they would rue the day they didn’t wear their jackets – and now she was vindicated. It’s always amazing to see a mother talk to her children like she was a 14-year-old babysitter who was trying to one-up her charges. Good for you, letting your kids do whatever they wanted, even though you knew it was going to snow and you knew they would need their jackets but you let them make their own decisions and now you are going to rub their noses in it. Excuse me, either be the adult and make the decisions (you will take your jackets it is snowing at our destination) or tell them they make the decision and live with the consequences – and then leave it alone. Because if you leave it alone, the kids learn the lesson (mom was right, gee who knew that could happen/hey snow is cold, I should bring my jacket next time mom says it is snowing) but if you taunt them the lesson is “my mother is a jackass”.

But I digress…

The mother walked ahead with the healthy kids, wearing one of their skateboard helmets, and chatting them up. Never noticing that her sick kid kept falling farther and farther behind.

She didn’t even notice when her son threw up all over the floor. She didn’t notice because she was getting on the down escalator with her other kids – and two other moms pointed it out to her, and showed her how to get back around and up to her kid. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

At the bottom of the escalator a man was waiting for them. She gave him a big hug. She started chatting him up, sighed and looked over her shoulder for the missing child – who still was apparently at the top of the escalator. She looked annoyed – as did the other children. The man looked confused.

I walked past them, pushing down my temper. She forced this child onto the flight, when he was clearly, visibly ill, and then gave him no comfort. Upon arrival, she acted as if he ceased to exist, and then when his existence was pointed out to her, she became annoyed.

I know it is hard to care for a sick person. I know it because I have been a caretaker and I have been a sick person. I know it is a thankless job. But guess what lady: This. Is. Your. Child. Your kids that are healthy and fine do not need to chat you up about their skateboards or whatever else you were discussing – they don’t need you at the moment – other than to be nearby as a resource. Your sick child needs you.

To be a sick child, alone, uncomforted, is one of the worst feelings in the world. No child should have to endure it. No child should have to feel sick and rejected. No child should have to feel that his mother has chosen his siblings over him and forgotten him. Especially not in so public a setting. Who needs public humiliation added to all of that?

My first thought when they boarded the flight was about how irresponsible it was to bring a sick person onto a flight (especially such a small one) where we would all be exposed to whatever the kid had. Within moments I had forgotten all about that, and realized that this woman was irresponsible in every aspect of her children’s lives, and if she cannot think of the well being of her own children, how can she think beyond them?