Our favorite new game (she said sarcastically)

Since we’ve arrived in VA we must have made dozens upon dozens of calls to get services set up. This has led to our favorite new game: let me speak to a supervisor.

Now I have to give a disclaimer or two first: 1. I do everything in my power not to escalate, because once upon a time I used to do tech support and I know it’s a thankless job and I know you can only do so much. 2. I usually do all of the arranging and follow-up bitch-slapping.

This time is different.

First, Scott is taking on most of the utilities because he wants things the way he wants them, and the new place was his responsibility. You get the drift. I cannot even begin to explain how weird this is for me – it’s thrilling to not do this stuff – I hate it. It’s wonderful to know it’s being taken care of. It’s nerve-wracking to see this incredibly patient man become so frustrated with the incompetent and lazy in the call center world. Scott is an uber-geek programmer. He is smart, patient, technical, methodical, and did I mention patient? The man should teach classes in patience.

Second, because Scott is patient, because he is newer than I at this, I have to suggest when to escalate.

So the scenarios of late go like this: Scott calls the cable company because the installer was supposed to come between 11 – 2, and it is now 2:30. We’re sorry, they are running a little behind. They should be there shortly. Now it is 3:15 and there is no sign of them. We’re sorry, they are running a little behind. They should be there shortly. Now it’s after 3:45. Um, the person that is supposed to install your stuff isn’t even working today. Now Scott is angry – angry Scott is not good. No one wants angry Scott. He doesn’t yell, but you can tell that you do not want angry Scott. Now he is asking why he has gotten the run around all day and insists they send someone else out immediately. We’re going to send someone right over. Scott wants to know when he will be here. By 4:30. AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND DIRECT EXTENSION SO I CAN CALL YOU AT 4:30 IF THIS PERSON HASN’T SHOWN UP? He gives Scott his name and extension.

Now it is after 5 and I say to Scott, “Honey, they aren’t coming.” He picks up the phone. “If it were me, I would stop talking to these entry level folks and talk to a supervisor”. He makes a face. They answer, “I want to speak to a supervisor”. They get his name and info; it’s the same yahoo he talked to last time, “I want to be rescheduled for tomorrow, and I want priority – I want to be the first visit of the day.” I gave your information to our supervisor – he is coming over to personally install everything. He will be there in 15 minutes. “15 minutes” Scott tells me. I say okay and try to smile encouragingly.

The guy shows up - close to 15 minutes later, is there forever, and doesn’t even do everything. When he leaves we go run our errands that we have been waiting to do since 2 PM; so it’s nearly midnight when Scott sits down to watch some TV and unwind.

There is no TV. There is no internet.

Another round of phone calls to support. One woman has the audacity to tell Scott that their records show that the outlets were activated, so if he wants different outlets it’ll be a $75 charge per outlet to have someone come out to do that. “To fix that, you mean” No sir, I show here that you have 3 active outlets. If you want additional outlets it will be $75 for each additional outlet. “I don’t want additional outlets. I want the 3 outlets to work.” Yes sir, I understand. If you want additional outlets it will be $75 for each additional outlet. “You don’t understand. These aren’t additional outlets.” Sir, you have 3 active outlets. If you want additional outlets it will be $75 for each additional outlet. Me: “Honey, talk to someone else or get off the phone with that horrible woman.” He says “thank you” into the phone and hangs up.

The next morning he calls the cell phone for the yahoo who came over the day before. He comes back over, finds that the previous owners had installed a “blocker” because they had dish service. He acts like this whole thing is somehow Scott’s fault.

We hate them.

We have the same experience with this service and that service. Saturday night we tried to change our cell phone numbers from AZ numbers to VA numbers. Scott called early in the week to find out what the process was, and realized that we had a lot of deliveries where they only had our cells, so we put it off. Now we were ready. Scott called Sprint. They told him that in order to change his number, he would have to sign a 2-year contract. Scott gets a little indignant with the rep and hangs up. Scott tells me that we are keeping our AZ numbers because there is no way he is being held hostage like this. I agree, but I say, “you should call back and ask them what it’ll take to get us out of our contract. Quite frankly, we can go to a local dealership and sign a new contract with someone else if they are that unreasonable”. Scott dials. “If it were me," I say, "I’d talk to a supervisor”. The rep picks up, and Scott asks for a supervisor. The rep wants to know why, Scott tells him. He says that information is correct. Scott repeats that he wants a supervisor. He gets some lame reply that he’ll hear the same thing from the supervisor. Scott repeats himself again. Scott gets a supervisor. Scott tells him what both reps have said, the supervisor replies that the person he talked to is new. Scott asks if everyone is new, since they all say the same thing. The supervisor says they need to educate a few people. Scott says they need to take care of that. And then Scott says, “Regardless – that is your issue to resolve. As to my issue, I see that you have a choice: you can lose my business over this, or you can do right by me and fix this.”

We have new VA phone numbers. We do not have a new contract.

The thing that fries me is that front line people are not empowered. Do right by the customer. Use common sense.

Of course, for the lazy and incompetent you can’t do anything to empower them. The ones that are good become supervisors who have to supervise the lazy and incompetent. It’s a vicious cycle.

To me the most unfortunate thing in all of this is watching Scott develop that mental callus – realizing that when he hits a brick wall with these people, being the patient one, helping them figure it out and learn and become better at their jobs isn’t viable. Scott’s escalations, even though calm, could all have been avoided by the front line people doing the right thing, being good listeners, being competent, and caring about their customers.

Sometimes I ponder philosophical improbabilities. Can you imagine if Sartre was right and hell is other people? These people would spend all eternity trying to get help on the phone…from someone who can’t or won’t help.

Now that would be sweet. That would be a call I'd like to listen to.