Humidity with a slight chance of Stairs?

I lived in Tucson, AZ for 10 1/2 years. There are many things that Tucson has that other places don't. There are, however, two remarkable things they don't have that everyone else generally does:

Humidity and Stairs

I grew up in the Midwest, so both the aforementioned items were pervasive in my formative years. Over time, living in Tucson, I forgot about those things - as if they no longer existed.

Now, living just West of our Nation's capital, I'm re-learning.

When Scott and I were house hunting I found myself excited at the prospect of having multiple floors again. I didn't seriously think about the cleaning, or how the laundry would travel from the 2nd floor into the basement and back again.

I didn't think about how many times a day I would forget something on another floor and find myself questioning the need for said item.

When we talked about how great it would be to have a finished basement to use as an office and a game room, it never occurred to us that being finished was not the same thing as having a phone line. Neither of us relish the idea of running upstairs every time the phone rings. Luckily, we found a phone outlet in perhaps the most inconvenient spot in the basement, and then bought phones that came in a bundle - 3 phones, 3 handsets, each with caller ID and speakerphone. Who knew such a thing existed? Who would've thought I'd be so happy to have one?

We also never considered how fascinating the basement would be to the dogs. It's different down here. It smells different. They do different stuff down here. It's not like upstairs. The basement is in fact so fascinating, that if we dare enter it without them, they bark as if they are fighting for their very lives.

The household stairs pose another problem, this one we saw right away, but decided it was not a deal breaker. There is only one exit to the backyard - a sliding glass door through the kitchen. It isn't really big enough to add in a doggie door. Even if it was, the door opens directly onto steps leading into the yard. I explained to Scott my horrific image of one of the dogs spastically jumping through the door in mid chase only to find himself tumbling down the stairs and going splat on the patio below. If you imagine it as a cartoon it is very funny. If you imagine it with the pain, and the crying, and the vet bills...not so much. So, these dogs who are so used to going out whenever they please are not very happy with us when we leave for the day.

So, when we are home, we usually have the back door flung open, letting the dogs have some semblance of what they were used to. This arrangement has a short shelf life, because come summer, the windows and doors will be shut tight to keep in the precious AC.

Summer. It is only May and we have 80% humidity every day, and most days have some rain, even if only for a few minutes. I love the rain. I love the lush green foliage all over the area. I love the feel of rain, the smell of rain, the sound of rain.

I do not like humidity.

Humidity is that thing that makes your hair frizz. It's that thing that, while walking out to the car, even when it is chill and damp, makes a drop of sweat run down your forehead or under your arm. But I am not exercising. I am not exerting myself. Why on earth am I damp?

In Tucson there is much ado about the "dry heat" and I never thought anything of it after my first summer. Your first summer in Tucson is a novelty. It's very hot, but you really don't sweat. You feel completely dry. Almost as if something is sucking the moisture right out of you. Each subsequent summer is something you mildly dread, but remind yourself that it doesn't last long, and at least you can get tan in the time it takes to walk to your car.

In Tucson, when it is 115 degrees and some yahoo is in line next to you and he says, "But issa darrryyy heat" you want to smack him. Because let's be serious - humidity or not, no one should be exposed to anything over 100 degrees. It's inhuman.

But now I realize that slurring fool (and all his kin) had a point. You can still move around in 115 degrees. Sure, it should be indoors, and it should be brief, but you aren't worried about melting into a puddle. Add humidity to the mix, and anything approaching 90 degrees is dangerous. To be fair, in Tucson no one is deliberately outside to do anything besides go from building to car and back again when it is over 100 degrees. Air conditioning is a powerful friend in both regions.

At least in VA there are no warnings about dashboards and windshields cracking from the intense heat and sun - at least the humidity trades for car destruction.

Of course, in VA there are no warnings about the stairs either.