Writing about writing

I’ve gotten a lot of wonderful feedback on the blog (thank you, thank you, muchas gracias and all that) and some encouragement to do this professionally (write, that is).

There are some things that hold me back from this: 1. I like a steady income, 2. I really have no idea how to get into the industry (I tried when I graduated from grad school), and 3. Writing takes discipline.

So let’s pretend that 1 & 2 cancel each other out (if I get into the industry, I can make a steady income – just play along), and just focus on #3: discipline.

I’ve read a lot from writers about how to write professionally, and I have yet to hear anyone say Just write when you get the spark, just write when you get the urge, just write whenever.

They all talk about discipline.

I’ve read that you should treat your writing like a normal job. Schedule working hours and write during that time. One of Scott’s favorite authors has a seasonal approach to writing (I'm paraphrasing here):

Phase 1: Winter
In Phase 1, he sits inside, by the fire, and writes by hand. No editing, just writing whatever he thinks would work in this story. This is every day.

Phase 2: Spring
He reviews it - looking for stuff that fits, as well as eliminating stuff that doesn’t or saving things that might make other good stories. Every day.

Phase 3: Summer
In the summer he goes out to his room in the barn every day, in the middle of the pasture and sits down at an old fashion typewriter and types the draft.

Phase 4: Fall
He reviews the draft then types the final edition. Every day.

Come winter again he starts all over.

I must say this system takes a hell of a lot of discipline. More than I could possibly muster.

I joke that I am ADD – show me a shiny object and… hey, look, a birdie!

I know I get distracted when I clean, at work, mid-conversation (regardless of who is talking), or at the grocery store. It happens non-stop.

And sometimes I am that way with my writing.

I sit down with a great idea and about half way through I am bored, or distracted, or, well, bored. I mean, I love to write, it is one of my passions, but sometimes I want to do something else. The worst part is when I return to the document, I no longer have the same passion. Sometimes I have no interest in the topic at all. Sometimes I look at it and go, “oh it would be better if I said this” and then I spend the time revamping it, often losing the original text in the process.

So, I get all ADD, I get distracted and then? I’m done. Honestly, I just walk away from the piece.

I’m not disciplined.

I write when I have something to say. I write when something happens that I can’t let go of. I write when I am feeling funny, or sad, or angry, or frustrated, or… you get the picture.

I don’t write when I am emotionless. My emotions drive my writing.

And therein lies the rub.

If my emotions drive my writing, and I need to be disciplined, I have to have a structure that enables me to be emotional and productive at the same time.

You try scheduling an emotion. Go ahead. How about sustaining it for 8 hours. I don’t want to be frustrated for 8 hours.

I know, not every writer is the same, and therefore what works for them may not (who am I kidding, will not) work for me.

I can sit down and write a 500 word blog like nobody’s business. Can I do a novel?

Well, you’ll be surprised to know that the answer is yes.

When I graduated and moved to Tucson I dedicated myself to writing my first novel. I say first, as if it was the beginning of the list. There has not been a second yet. But, I naively believe that someday I may sit down at the computer again and make another attempt.

My first novel was a detective story. It tried to do too much. Too many homages, too many far fetched ideas. It was great fun to write, and every so often I would ship a chapter off to my friend Evelyn back in Indiana who would edit it, make comments, be my sounding board, and send it back.

We must have spent a fortune in paper and postage.

It was great fun. And, when I thought it was suitable for a larger audience, I bought a book on how to become a published author, I sent a synopsis of my book to all appropriate publishers, and I waited for a response.

Most didn’t respond. Those that did ranged from pleasant (not right at this time) to obnoxious (I do not think that word means what you think it means).

Sure, it was disheartening. But, I kept trying. I went online and found lots more to contact. No responses. I almost got lured into vanity publishing, because I didn’t know what it was (and of course they don’t call themselves vanity publishers), and that was when I gave up.

I gave up. I accepted the fact that I would never be a professional writer.

Then, I got a job as a technical writer. Writing without passion and glamour. But I reveled in telling people that I was a professional writer. I was bored, but I was a writer.

Then, I became a technical editor. Less stimulating than technical writing.

Then, I managed writers. Far worse than editing.

Then, I switched jobs.

Professional writing isn’t glamorous – it’s thought, reflection, discipline. Also, you have to catch the ideas before your brain goes ADD and switches topics. I literally had another dozen topics that almost made it into the blog, but I wrote them in my head because I was doing something else, and then, when I had the time… they were gone.

I love to write. I’ve been so happy with my little blog, because it gets me flexing this muscle that has been in mothballs quietly screaming for use. But I have to be honest with myself: the chance of me ever doing this full-time is slim.

Maybe I’ll do a book of short stories and try the publishing route again. Maybe a book of satirical essays. Maybe.

In the meantime, I’m just a girl, sitting in front of a computer, asking you to love my blog.