Writing Project Chapter: What's a Token Half-Jew?

[Chapter excerpt]

By religious standards I am fully Jewish. My mother is Jewish. End of story. But, my dad isn’t Jewish, and because of that I have this whole other influence on who I am.

Spiritually, I’m Jewish. When people ask, I say I am Jewish (although depending on the audience I may call myself a mutt or half-breed just to see the responses).

The token part is where I get into trouble. A token is expected to somehow represent a group, and be able to espouse knowledge of it. Sure, I’m spiritually Jewish, but I know as much about my religion from Jewish comedians as I do from my religious upbringing.

But try explaining that to the people who rely on me to be their source of all things Jewish.

One of my favorite questions came from my mother-in-law, bless her heart. It went something like this:

“Sara, someone in our complex died.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“She was…” she lowers her voice to a whisper, “Jewish”

“Oh”

“What do we do?”

“Do you mean her dead body is still there?”

“Um, no”

“Okay, I’m confused. What’s the question?”

“Well, we want to have a little get-together service here for the residents who won’t be able to attend the funeral.”

“Okaaaaay”

“Do we need a Rabbi?”

“To do what?”

“I don’t know. I thought we might need one. Do you know where I can find a Rabbi?”

“Did she belong to a temple?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, let’s start with this idea: if she was Christian, would you bring in a priest for the get-together?”

“No.”

“So why do you need a Rabbi?”

“I don’t know, I thought it was a rule.”

Where do people come up with these rules, and why do they ask me about them?