Ask Sarcastica

Every Friday we're going to do a little something new... the Dear Sarcastica advice column. Feel free to send in your questions to get some thoughtful advice!

Dear Sarcastica,
I’m having problems printing. Have any ideas?
Signed,
Inkless

Dear Dinkless,
Printing as in hand-writing or printing with a computer printer? I ask because…I DON’T CARE! First, phrase questions clearly as to ensure that people know what you are asking and second, call friggin tech support.


Dear Sarcastica,
My boss is a jerk. What should I do?
Signed,
Tormented

Dear Twinkie,
Everyone’s boss is a jerk. No matter how cool your boss may be on one thing or another, your boss is a jerk on something.

Here are your choices:

1. Stop whining
2. Whine to someone who cares
3. Become self-employed
4. Get promoted and torture others

Dear Sarcastica,
How casual is work-casual?
Signed,
Khaki

Dear Cracky,
It’s all about context. Do you work on a beach? Do you work for a CEO? I mean seriously, look at the other people you work with and find a happy medium.


Dear Sarcastica,
I’m trying to lose weight. What do you recommend?
Signed,
Full-figured gal

Dear Fabulous,
Don’t lose weight. Skinny people are miserable. Sure, you won’t live as long, but how great is your life right now? Remember food = good, skinny = cranky.


Dear Sarcastica,
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Help.
Signed,
Girlfriend

Dear STD catcher,
He is.

Tune in next week when our own Sarcastica answers your questions!